is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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