Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
