I just made out with a guy for $7.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
