I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
