There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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