i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
