She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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