my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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