What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
