i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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