The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize