Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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