You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
