Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
