Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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