Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
