I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
