please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
