now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
