Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
