mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
50% drunk capacity currently
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize