Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You've changed since you got that strap on
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize