In the future we'll all be gay
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
