this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
