It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
