Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
