We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
