Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
