we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
