I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was like eating out sand paper
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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