that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
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i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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