He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
