She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
wanna go halves on a baby?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
