I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
