dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm passing your future prison.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I wish there were birth control emojis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
