This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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