it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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