I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
