All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
