And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
