I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
