She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
