Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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