she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
