Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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