just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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