After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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