am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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