You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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