Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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