I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
