i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
