Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize