he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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