My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize