I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
