i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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