I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
