In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
