we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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